MY DARLING =D (on the left)
koped from jian wei =p

i figured i needed a break and everyone else needs a break from my disgustingness
so bye for now..
i'll be back when i get over it

juniors would always be juniors. i would always love them all the same regardless of what happens

wanted to pen it here. but figured it wouldnt be too nice.

maybe they were right afterall. i never ever spent much time taking my direct-direct. not to mention the rest of my directs. even after inunion was over, i tried to but i figured i could never match up.

i wish i could cry everything away. i cant cry. and even if i do the facts would still be as hurting. the feelings would still be there. nothing would change and i would be just wasting precious tears

on a side note, happy children's day!
if only children's day could bring me back to being innocent and ignorant.

being n**e is not a one time thing. it's a long term experience. if this is what you mean by n**e, i'll just disappear and make myself appear once in a while and...be n**e! -_________-
that would be easy. considering how much i did. or tried to do but failed terribly. 0.o

if this is what you are looking for after 4 years in band, im sorry to say that you have joined the wrong cca.

rest assured i will never ever mention that topic to you again. i realised today how stupid i was to trust that you had good reasoning skills.

if this is what you think is ***** ******* alot, think twice. there's alot more cruelties in life than just that. honestly.

hx never fails to look hysterical















be my sofa


























Tango! [okay. my band skirt looks unbelievably short.]



lol. the se4 photos of farewell. i look gross in every single one

okay. before i blog what i wanted to blog about,
i want to say this
Guo Tong, i love you too!
Dont ever leave me okay??? -hinthint. hinthinthinthinthinthint hinthint-


lol. and no. i am not hinting for her to marry me lar.

always wanted to write this but er. didnt have time so yeah. i dunnoe why but this particular paragraph caught my eye:
He wondered, as he had many times wondered before whether he himself was a lunatic. Perhaps a lunatic was simply a minority of one. At one time it had been a sign of madness to believe that the earth goes round the sun: today, to believe that the past is unalterable. He might be alone in hold that belief, and if alone, then a lunatic. But the thought of being a lunatic did not greatly trouble him: the horror was that he might also be wrong.

okay. the last time i said this was near inunion. so im saying this again
To the Flutes and Oboes section:
to everyone of yall: pei qi, ada, amanda, jiayun, joyce, karen, kristine and shuqi
i will miss everbody. i love everybody out there and yall will always have this special place in my heart :D
All the best for the year ahead

aha. yes talking about farewell
today i had to lug mark home. er...mark the lion
and no. he's not a lion. i read the stupid tag and it says leopard/bear
like huh? goodness. he's so not a bear and a leopard doesnt have a freaking mane
yarh. and so i had to walk through the foyer looking like a stupid, torturous zookeeper with mark hanging out of the plastic bag looking like a dead lion.
0.o
ARGH. my mom doesnt want him on my bed. she wants him wrapped up cos she says he's gonna get dirty. dammit. if i dont hug him then what's the point. urgh.

the tale of the two libarians

lol. to the 2 of our successors: thanks for the present! i loved it. it was super sweet. lol. yall can grow up to be storywriters.

the two librarians had returned to save their subjects. Armed with stamps, pencils, stacks of papers and photocopy cards they declared war on the monster.

so cute!

from my direct:

Perhaps band is like a resting place,
a shelter from the storm,
it exists to give you comfort,
it’s there to keep you warm
and in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of band will bring you home

Perhaps band is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don’t know what to do
The memory of band will see you through

Oh band to some is like a cloud
To some strong as steel
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say band is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say band is everything
And some say they don’t know

Perhaps band is like the ocean
Full of conflicts, full of pain
Like a fire when it’s cold outside
Thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of band will be of you

its so sad is it.
that the people i see everyday, meet everyday
the people whom i laugh with all the time
are simply not the ones who i can communicate with.
to you: just wanna say that the recent days we've spent together made me realised that i actually did miss you alot.
i just wished i could turn back time, wished that you could stay on, i wished you were always there.
or isit that only if we are separated then i can actually really appreciate you.

you know, i have been running away from reality
i mean. yes i have been facing up to the problem
but other than that i have never been able to bring myself to talk about it.
i hate to admit it. but im scared.
losing someone so dear to you is even more scary that your own death
the kind of fear is really indescrible
the fear makes everything else seem so small, so blurry, so unreal
and you just totally lose it and do ridiculous stuff.
do anything that you think that is possible to salvage the situation
like remember trival dreams and thinking that they actually mean something about the future
pausing over every single thing you do [things like what time to sleep]..hoping that -shrugs- sleeping at the right time would actually do something.
and all the crying yourself to sleep.
it just seems so ridiculous that i still have to wake up and go to school.
if i had a choice i would just spend the time with my loved ones.

we can all be happy if we talk about happy stuff
but once you pick the wrong subject. that's it.
i've learnt my lesson

nobody will understand me. just as i dont understand anybody.

you know what. i feel no sadness whatsoever.
well. at least when it comes to them.
i finally understand your disgust for them.
i have no idea what has gone wrong or been done wrong.
all i know is that there's nothing i can do to salvage the situation.
and all i can say is sorry.
hopefully this is not going to start all over again in JC.

i dont understand how people can have such thoughts.
it's just impossible and inhumane.
you know if it wasnt for the fact that i was in the same * as you
i would have screamed my head off.
i dont care if you are * or not.
i dont care if i destroy the relationship
cause it's totally not worth maintaining this relationship

it just hurts me that you are hurting them.

i have seen enough of you.

i miss inn!
omg. the recording is damn damn damn damn damn nice.
all the flute solos are like..heavenly.
the tone is so round, so light, so resonant, and so sweet.
ALL IN ONE. can you believe it.
the high Bnatural in 1st movt., the high F# in second movt. and the bloody flute solo.
oh man. the bass clarinetist is damn zai too.
bleah. the piccolo is so cute.
but it's damn draggy.
you can like hear every single note so clearly. the brasses melody, the woodwind accom. with all the small notes, the trills. everything.
and you can actually hear the harmony in the melody. and the piccolo! omg. it actually flies above everything else. just like mo said. ARGH.
it feels as though im sitting in front of a live band. i even have the urge to stand up and shout encore.
okay whatever. i know im nuts.
but this is what's called moving the audience

:D but i still like heart and voice better.

listening to him makes me feel so inspired.
no not demoralised but inspired.
i know i'll never ever be like him. but i'll get as close as possible.

every piece of music is unique. it's the experience, the memories that make it so special.

being your own audience is a different feeling altogether

HAH. see. my trust in your potential was never wrong.

hai. i know i ******* you. but i wish you success anyway

lol. you are so amusing.

haish. re-read my diary.
damn disgusted with myself and with her too.
i cant believe i was that naive.
forget it. it's over.